he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
