I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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