My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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