I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
