every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize