I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
