My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
