yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
