ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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