this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize