Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
