i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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