this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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