theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
