my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
