I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
