We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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