Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
did i just pee glitter
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
