you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize