it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
