I heard we made out
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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