So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
