What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
