Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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