Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
