He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
