Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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