okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
