Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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