Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
