Can Purell be used as lube?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
So. Much. Porn.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
