An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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