I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
