Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
