You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
