You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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