god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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