we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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