I want to walk on stilts...naked
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
