I hate all girls vehemently.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize