Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
