My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize