Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize