I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Randomize