you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
