when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
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