Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize