"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize