So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
