i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
