hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
