As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
