So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We are two peas in an std pod
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
