So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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