Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
