We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
