should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
