the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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