What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
