did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
