is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
