don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
