help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
